Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
