Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
