Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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