Little spoons don't ask big questions
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
only you would photoshop your dick
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
