just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
