Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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