After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
