Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
