1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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