Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
