as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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