Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
