You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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