can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
