you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
