Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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