the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
