just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
