she looked like the bat from fern gully.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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