just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I will be naked everywhere
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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