Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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