I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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