there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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