I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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