i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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