yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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