You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
