OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
