the new term for farting is butt boxing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
