Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
