listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
