See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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