Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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