The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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