Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
