Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
