You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
