Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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