i permit you to call me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
