I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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