Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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You're breaking my sexual little heart
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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