ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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