i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
