dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize