Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
