I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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