why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
