you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
