Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
