May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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