hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
