I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
