had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
