Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
