I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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