i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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