How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I know her cup size but not her name....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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