Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Randomize
